The Sacred Search...

News Flash...I still know not a darn thing about dating.

Well, other than it is down right terrifying.

#CanIGetAnAmen  #FromSomeoneWhoIsActuallyInTheDatingWorld

In high school, I was not an athlete. I could not hold or carry a tune nor do I have any right to be on a stage. So, I guess my thing was studying. How pathetic does that sound? It's true though. I focused on my grades and I spent a lot of time studying. Such was true in college too. Of my fondest college memories, were my times spent with one of my very best friends cramming at the library...usually with a pizza, lots of diagrams, diet coke, and a whole lot of laughter.

Given that I know not a darn thing about dating, I decided it was time to start studying. 
To prepare...myself and my very tender heart. If that is even possible. 
At least to read up on the subject matter.  

Insert the most happiest of dances when I borrowed the book The Sacred Search.

Twas' so good! I read parts aloud for my roomie (God bless her sweet and patient soul), added post-it notes to about every other page, summarized sections for anyone who would listen, and then ended up ordering my very own copy.  I mean honestly, this book had me looking at my failed marriage from about 29,302,435,438 angles and left me feeling...dare I say...somewhat excited about my future spouse. I know right!

Since we are looking ahead and not behind, I'll spare the ways in which I analyzed my past but give ya the two things that keep replaying in my head from my read. Really, it's 4,839,483 things but you just gotta read it for yourself {if you are unmarried that it..but if you are not, he does write on marriage and parenting but I can't speak to those just yet}. 

Let's do this...

Marry someone who you want your children to become. 

Um, yes. It makes perfect sense. Character, drive, integrity, spirit. If you don't want your future littles to grow up to become like your potential spouse, red flag.  How have I never considered this? Noted.

Marry for who the person is and not for who you intend for them to become. 

Sounds odd, but again it just clicked.  Someday they will or someday they won't.  "Someday they will share my ___ {faith, desire for a family, vision for the future} they are just in a season of uncertainty." "Someday they will outgrow or stop ______." Friends, someday may never come. If it is important, don't compromise because you see potential, you have history, or because you expect it from them. Marriage is not a magic wand. They may "never come around" because it is not who they are. Marry for who they are and not who you think they can be, should be, or will become. Again, duly noted.

And the last chapter of the book was about having your bestie prescreen all potential dates. 

It's her roll to wean out all the creepers, if ya will. 
{That part was just in the abridged version in my head, but I'm down if someone takes on the dirty work for me.}

 Anyone have any other good reads they recommend? 
Study up and let's do this!