Preparing for The Big 3-0 {Thirty Baby}

This summer I will be 30.

That is the bIg 3-0 friends!

T-h-i-r-t-y.

I'm not one who gets all bent out of shape about age and don't particularly feel that thirty makes me "old." It is just natural progression rolling ahead and I'm quiet fond of the idea of leaving my twenties behind. They were not particularly blissful and thirty almost feels like a number that better reflects the life experience and wisdom that have come with the experiences life has brought.

Of course, if I'm being honest, deep down, raw & real...the number thirty doesn't scare me but at times, contentment does. Recently, I sat at the side of one of my dearest friends after she beautifully brought her third child into this world. Of all the events of life, child birth is the most miraculous of all. As I held her newborn child, giggled over her chubby cheeks and squinty eyes, and soaked in the newborn smell,  I caught myself lost in thought. I left and headed to a shower for another friend who will welcome her first baby this spring....the shower being hosted by yet another friend whom we will soon celebrate as she welcomes her second child this summer. I am awed by the opportunity to watch my friends become mommas (for the first, second, and even still for the third time). It is a deeply cherished joy. Motherhood is simply beautiful and utterly incredible and watching those whom you love experience it, is a gift.

Yet, walking away from a whirlwind day of celebration, I found myself lost in wonder of what my future holds. While the number thirty doesn't intimidate me, this isn't what I envisioned for being on the brink. As I celebrate the joy of life with my dear friends, I catch myself in wonder if it will ever be me.

When I turned 28, I wrote out a big bucket list and spent the days leading to 29 marking off dreams. Big and small. Realistic and grasping for what seemed just beyond reach. It was fulfilling and motivating and healing. When I celebrated 29 and looked back to reflect that every box had been checked, I was overcome by what became possible in the midst of such brokenness.

30 felt like it needed something too. Something to mark the leaving behind of the decade that stripped me, shattered me, and yet shaped me. Despite feeling like this isn't how I envisioned this season of life and wondering what may or perhaps may never come, I'm embracing what is. Alive in the present.

So, thirty is being ushered in with a dream. A dream that is being planned into a reality.

A little trip you might say.

Well,  a little jaunt half way across the world.  
With two dear friends {One of whom is ushering in her 30's too}.

Me, them, and a hunger for adventure, exploration, and the opportunity to embrace what is.

Happy 30th To Us.