Celebrating Addy's 2nd Birthday...

Last year, I had a big party for Addy's 1st Birthday. 

I needed a party. I needed purpose in planning and the distraction of the details. 

But mostly, I needed to know that she was remembered.

My divorce was finalized just three weeks before her first birthday and I needed to know that she wasn't lost or overlooked in the chaos of the demise. So I planned, mailed out invitations, made decorations, baked all the desserts, hired a photographer, agonized over what to wear, and friends and family faithfully drove across the state to attend. It was perfect. And so, so needed. 

What I have learned over the course of the past two years is the multitude of ways in which those near and dear to me have found to honor and celebrate and remember my Addy. Big, personal, unique, and intentional ways to reflect the impact of her life.  She mattered and she matters. 

So this year, her birthday looked different. Rather than one big celebration, it was week of small yet intentional ways to remember. As her momma, my heart is filled by the love for her. 

She is deeply love, oh so wanted, and forever missed. 

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 First was a trip back to the KC Zoo for the third year in a row. Nostalgia.

Thank you to these beauties who have gone with me two years in a row. True love. 

And a whole lotta cookie baking and decorating. Because thanking the people who had a role in guiding my pregnancy and bringing Addalyn into this world will never get old. I'm forever grateful.

And The Cheesecake Factory. Oh yes, cheesecake!

When I was in labor, my dad brought us lunch from The Cheesecake Factor.  I have eaten the very same meal on 3.18 for three years in a role...including the potstickers which I don't really even like. But not ordering them was not an option. 

And a special thanks to my dear friend for dining with me. I adore her.

And a little balloon sent high into the sky at 7:49am on 3.19.2015 for my Addy from her momma.  She changed me in ways I can't even put into words. I miss her every single day.

And a visit to the L&D Department where I delivered.  Going back to the only place my Addy ever physically was is needed. It is healing and being greeted by birthday and butterfly balloons made the visit all the more special.

{I'll be back to visit again...so sorry I missed some of you!}

 And a small family dinner on the evening of 3.19. A perfect night with my dear family.

Lynli, my niece, took on the role of blowing out Addy's birthday candles.

And to round out the week, another birthday cake made by my grandma and lanterns sent sailing into the clear blue sky. My grandma has made all my birthday cakes and now a cake for my Addy too. She picked the design...a bright yellow sun that says "You Are My Sunshine - Happy 2nd Birthday Addy." Be still my heart. 

Oh Addalyn, you are loved. Deeply and fiercely.

And forever and ever you will be celebrated. 

Happy 2nd Birthday. 

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And in case you are wondering, the answer is yes. 

Yes, I wore the same outfit almost every day this week. The shirt arrived in the mail from a very dear friend and I could not think of anything better to wear...everyday...but I did wash it.