In preparation for the day I would meet my daughter, we had weekly appointments and close to 15 ultrasounds. Everything that could be planned in advance was. I was meticulous as to ensure that every detail was well thought out and what was best for Addy was always the focus. As meticulous as I was, I never considered the possibility that my water could break. We were planning to be induced (at the recommendation of my medical team) so it never crossed my mind that I would spontaneously go into labor.
It was one year ago that my water unexpectedly broke.
Hidden beneath that smile and those tear swollen eyes was fear.
Fear of physically enduring labor.
But more so, fear of emotionally enduring what was to come.
But more so, fear of emotionally enduring what was to come.
Regardless of the number of appointments or the number of conversations discussing Addy's life, there was no way to prepare myself to face life and death in the same moment.
Even today, I would be without the words to adequately prepare myself.
Even today, I would be without the words to adequately prepare myself.
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